Friday, September 25, 2009

A Prayer

"The oddity
Is that the sanity
Of humanity
Is in short commodity"
-Saint Brian the Godless


This post was Hypochrist-Inspired on another blog which shall remain nameless and somehow still survives post-mortem in a sombie-like state somewhere between real life and putrefaction, with a little of the flavor of both.


A Prayer**

Lord Jesus, you represent the Divine Mind,
And the source of all intelligence and knowing.
Guide our nation at this critical moment,
As the immoral hypocritical Republicans attempt to scuttle health care.
Give our elected Democratic officials the intelligence to know
That religious conservatives are petty and self-centered as a species.
Give them the wisdom to realize
That Christians only TALK about love and morality, then do the exact opposite.
Give them the strength to resist the idea
That Republican Christian Conservatives are worth even the powder to blow them to hell,
Or that they are in any way real followers of Christ.
Give your people the courage to speak up
And to hold Republican public officials accountable for their hatred, hypocrisy and mental retardation, even unto incarcerating them for their sins.

Save us, Lord Jesus, from a culture of stupidity created and encouraged by those who claim to follow you yet aren’t smart enough to even know what that means,
And let every reform in our public policy
Be based on love for others and genuine selfless morality rather than greed or self-righteous pandering to the ignorant for personal gain,
In the light of your Infinite Cosmic Consciousness,
For you are and always were so much better than those who co-opt your good name out of Pride and Arrogance and not in Humility.


(**My prayerful response to "Prayer and Testimony Will Shape Health Care Debate" by Fr. Frank Pavone)


You know, my ultimate, best prayer, the one that I really would most like to come true, more of a wish or a dream than a prayer really but still... My most sincere 'prayer' would be that those who believe that they are Christians and yet somehow are still capable of adjusting their inordinately flexible morality in such a way as to be able to support an unjust war in Iraq (no connection to 9/11 whatsoever,) those who are totally comfortable with the idea of our country torturing people, those who can somehow find their way to not supporting something so obviously good for America (not to mention Christ-like) as universal health care, those who spread blind kneejerk hatred for others with whom they disagree up to and past the point of actively demonizing them and even speaking of violence against them, those who value prenatal life a thousand times more than they do post-natal life, those who do not care one whit about the less fortunate but are always the first to claim that they do, those who go to church and pretend to themselves that just that, mere membership and attendence in a church is all they need to do in life in order to 'be saved,' those who consistantly claim the moral high ground whilst dwelling in the swamp of egotism, indifference and depravity; and those who in general pay only lip service to a spiritual path which they claim to be on, named after a man (Jesus Christ) who apparently acted absolutely nothing like they do, will one day (hopefully soon) wake up in the morning and have a mind-shattering "Aha!" moment that goes something like this: "Holy Christ On A Popsicle Stick, What the hell was I thinking? I've completely soiled the very name of Jesus Christ in every conceivable way! Doh!!!" and from that point forward feel actual genuine *painful* empathy for their fellow humans all over the planet regardless of faith or race. You know, like any decent Atheist does.

However if they truly were to realize all of that in one moment and had to suddenly digest what incredible jackasses they've made of themselves in their shallow overweening pride, it is doubtful that they would survive the experience. A plaque of exploding hypochristical heads would sweep the globe.

I like to call it "The Crapture."

Hopefully they'd manage to do it on the fouth of July, so that the percussions could be explained away as fireworks. Their last patriotic act. How fitting. I must admit that I would be there in the front row with my hand over my heart.


  1. Brian;

    This post approaches your best ever!
    I particularly appreciated the description of "The Crapture".
    I cannot believe "MI/Hydra" is still trying to scuttle the thread on which she was alledgedly the first poster (N.B. she was even then looking for "friendship" and prayerful support).

  2. "However if they truly were to realize all of that in one moment and had to suddenly digest what incredible jackasses they've made of themselves in their shallow overweening pride, it is doubtful that they would survive the experience. A plaque of exploding hypochristical heads would sweep the globe."

    No Brian, I disagree. This prideful head indeed did not explode but realized he was looking at himself in his "enemies" all along. 'What am I guilty of?' Now comes before, 'What are they guilty of?'

    You are for all the internet bullshit and anonymity (meaning for as much as this format allows) my brother. What a loaded thing to say, I would hope it shows a naivete actually. One I would rather cultivate than sneer at.

    Remember that ideologues (the loudest being the so-called Republicans right now) have a philosophy of flags, and of sides.

    The neo-libs in office are no different. Obama is the Democratic party's Reagan...whoopteedoo. Remember they're pushing sides too.

    And I'm just sick of it. Who has a monopoly on truth? They, whoever they are always asks, "Is it us or them?"

    They can take what they're presupposing and shove it.

    My Christianity, and my previous atheism put my beliefs before everyone else. I don't want that Brian, I'll fail and be a jerk, probably judge somebody somewhere, but I don't want that.

    When we talk about God, Socialism, legalization of this that or the other thing, we're talking about us, not but Us. Ya know?

    The gay Us, the Nazi Us, the Tanzanian Us, the male Us, the female Us. Our labels go on and on but every pejorative, and every descriptor is fundamentally predicated upon who we are closer to than we could possibly imagine (at least imagine in our zeal).

  3. Oneblood, I know that I paint with a very broad brush here. Maybe even a roller or a spray gun. So please subtract yourself from my comments. They weren't applicable to you, or to Botts for that matter. They are only applicable to those so-called Christians that are total hypocrites about following the peaceful and loving path of Christ, as I hinted at in the post itself.

    Here's Frank Schaeffer's take on it:

  4. No Brian, I disagree. This prideful head indeed did not explode but realized he was looking at himself in his "enemies" all along. 'What am I guilty of?' Now comes before, 'What are they guilty of?'
    I've done that. I have come to terms with what I'm guilty of. They have not even a clue that they're guilty of anything whatsoever. So they need reminders more than I do, is the point. This post is one of them.

    And it's not as if what they're doing isn't painfully obvious to the most casual of nonindoctrinated observers.

    So by your theory I shouldn't call out those on the other side? Why on earth would I not call out obvious hypocrisy?

    Listen, our side being polite to them isn't going to solve shit. They love it when we 'give them an inch.' They invariably stretch it into ten miles of useless bullpoopy that we all have to deal with later on. Being the mature ones in the argument may seem like an automatic win to you, but they're used to it and twist it around in the minds of their own believers into concepts like "Liberals are pussies" and lovely sentiments like that.

    When one's opposition morphs from human into a snake you stop arguing and look for the right stick.

  5. Oneblood, it occurs to me that I haven't allowed you to adequately explain yourself. I'd be interested in a more in-depth explanation of what you think I'm doing wrong by posting this in this manner. I must always remain open to the idea that I might be full of shit even when I'm 'sure' that I'm not, or I become 'them,' don't I?

  6. But I don't think you're full of horseradish Opie. I think you've adopted what comes completely natural to us...sides, not contexts.

    Brian, I'm no genius and I don't claim to be, but sides are irrelevant are they not? Does one side really have every ingredient that makes up all truth?

    "But of course one does son! It's A-mare-ka!"

    "Those idiot Christians, they're the problem."

    "Godless baby-killing atheists are ruining our world!"

    We don't discover truth more than we discover what's not true, or as what one philosopher says, "...what has a capability of being developed."

    The more raving liberals and conservatives, or raving atheists and christians keep up this meager reasoning called 'sides' or 'flags' or 'countries' or 'philosophies' as if each thing was actually THE problem to be solved RIGHT NOW, the less progress we will make as a species.

    That's my hypothesis. And if you don't agree with it, I still won't consider you to be on the OTHER side, as if you were THE problem to my hypothesis.

    The context is always human Brian, always human.

    I am steps away from Hitler and I am steps away from Maya Angelou. So which side should I be on anyway?

    Maybe I should have a pundit tell me.

    Sometimes they make it tricky and say 'Whose side.'

    Do sides really belong to people?

    Maybe that's what flags were for in the first place, to trick people into believing they belonged to sides.

    To reiterate, I don't think you're wrong in a black and white sense. I think you're out of context. But then again we all are from time to time.

    But lastly, there are actually two sides to humanity. There's the side that says there are no sides and the side that says there are :-D

  7. Brian, I'm no genius and I don't claim to be, but sides are irrelevant are they not? Does one side really have every ingredient that makes up all truth?
    Yes. My side does. At least, by comparison. When one side lacks *any* reason, then any reasonable side is infinitely preferable.
    Yes, when compared to the fantasy fundamentalist religion side where everybody just goes with their pre-set beliefs, my side, the secular side, has 'all' the facts. The 'truth' about the world, as much as can be found, is all on the secular side. And even the spiritual 'truths' on the spiritual path aren't to be found in fundamentalism, you know that. Fundamentalism kills real spirituality as much as it kills logical thought. It's anti-thought, anti-fact, anti-spirit, anti-FREEDOM OF THOUGHT, and is essentially a very contagious MENTAL IGNORANCE VIRUS that infects far too many in this country, rendering them pliable to anyone with the right keywords and background. Religion is WHY so many of us are satisfied with being ignorant in our culture. Why we do not ask questions of things. Why we do not ask questions of *ourselves.*
    It traces back to that. It all does. Fundamentalist religion and even religion in general, is indeed the Great Stupifier. It has to be. If you're smart enough, you don't fall for religion, and you leave the fold. Can't be having any of that now! So it trains you to be dumb, and to like it. To even make fun of intellect instead of trying to aquire it one's self. To demonize knowledge itself. Once you're there, it's all over for you. You're ignorant for life, barring exceptional circumstances.

    Plus, it is the religious 'side' that insists on defining us as two sides, religious and non, and demonizes our side out of hand, as a matter of course. It's natural for them to demonize us. It's part of their infection, their conditioning.

    To ignore their definition of us as inferior for not living in a fantasy world and pretend that we're not divided is just what they'd like us to do. Makes it so much easier to take over everything.

    I shall stay with my 'sides' interpretation, thank you sir. What you propose, the religious would love. They'd love it if we decided not to fight them, if we just met them with open arms, no 'sides.' They'd have no compunctions in taking over this country. They've been trying to for years now, and you know it. It's an open agenda among them. Dominionists graduate from fundie "Universities" where they learn how many angels can shit on a pin, but nothing practical or factual, then the Bush Government, already infiltrated of course, hired them with no experience right out of the pseudocollege, to shore up the troops in the great fight agains secularism and eeeevul. Once hired they commenced to add whatever they could to the Great Fuckup. And they're still in there, a lot of them. The military has been compromised; if you're not a fundie they'll at least hate your secular ass and maybe even see to it that you don't survive that next firefight with the addition of a friendly bullet or two, all for God of course... Yes, I mean it, I do not trust them not to kill the other secular soldiers in that environment. At the least, haze the hell out of them. And if you're gay in the military, well you might as well shoot yourself as tell anyone.

    What planet are you living on Sir, with no sides, I wonder? I'd love to go there. No doubt. Sounds lovely. Idyllic, even.

  8. In an ideal world there would be no 'sides,' I must agree on that. But one of our problems on the secular side, on our side, is that we often pretend that we already have that ideal world, so we pretend that there are no 'sides.' This comes as news to the other 'side' which immediately pounces all over us, seeing our attempts to include them, to be nice to them, as *weakness.*
    The proper *balance* here is not to pretend that sides do not exist, but to make sure that our 'side' is not the one fostering the separation, not the one doing the evil shit in other words, and to always work for that future world where sides do not exist. We must keep our sights on it as an ideal to strive for, but never be so naive as to believe that it's already here. It just isn't. That would be living in a fantasy world, and that's not our department, is it?

  9. It's like religion heard the old saying "Ignorance is Bliss" and said "We want that! That's it! Gimme bliss!"

    And they can give you bliss too. For the small price of your 'soul,' which in this case means your mind and spirit.

    Religion uses a particular technique to keep the believers ignorant. They start it in childhood. The tool is to present pairs or sets of options to the believer which are mutually exclusive logically. They can't possibly both or all be true. Then they tell the believer that they *are indeed* both or all true, and you'd better believe it or you're going to go to hell after you die etc. The believer, out of *fear,* forces themselves to indeed 'see' that both options are true, and eventually does 'see' this as a fact. So God is love, but if you don't believe that He will roast your ass forever. No problem! I'll buy into that! Sure... what the hell. The price of admission is only my mind, and I wasn't using that anyhow.

    What would we think of science if it always said things like "A lizard is always a reptile; however some lizards are mammals" and it *demanded* on pain of eternal torture that we buy into that? Right... It would be a major mindfuck. Just like religion is.

  10. When I was a child my grandfather spent a lot of time with me. Walks in the woods, that sort of thing.

    I had a lot of questions about nature.

    So from my grandfather I learned that ticks can jump on you and can fly, that snakes routinely grasp their tails in their mouths and roll down hills, and that cats can hypnotize birds just by staring at them till they fall down to the ground where the cat eats them.

    All bullshit of course. He didn't know the answers so he did what his father's fathers did. He made shit up. Or repeated shit he'd heard.

    So many people still do this. It's everywhere. The 'being okay with not knowing' and the 'making answers up so as not to look stupid' is still everywhere.

    And I maintain that ultimately it all traces back to religion. Yes I do. The not caring about facts. The lack of observational ability. The callous ignorance. After all it's okay to be stupid, as long as you have 'faith' in God. As long as you believe in something with zero proof. Two millennia of this and it's a wonder that we even developed any science whatsoever.

  11. Speaking of 'hoop snakes...'

    That must have been how snakes got around before God judged the snake in the garden.

    After all, God told the snake that 'from this point forward you shall go about on your belly...'

    How else could a legless animal get around, except by putting it's tail in its mouth and rolling about the place?

    Now, the faithful have informed me that it wasn't really a snake, it was the devil in disguise!

    So I asked them, why then did God punish the snakes, all snakes forever, if it wasn't even a snake in the garden in the first place?

    Oh, they reply, it was a snake allright.

    It was a snake, but the snake 'allowed' satan to speak through it, so it needed to be punished! Voila! See, it makes sense after all!

    But then I ask, how could a snake decide to follow satan, to allow satan to speak through it, when snakes do not and never did have free will, and only humans do?

    And I'm sure they have another pat answer to that one too, but I usually stop listening at that point. Because it becomes obvious that they're just making shit up.

  12. Love the Crapture. If only...with the way things are going, it seems that it will stay a nice dream for now.
    I question whether Republican politicians even ARE Christian or religious. I suppose a few are, the majority seem to understand what great power it can have over people (those with no critical thinking skills) and use it. Is there anything more cynical than C-Street? There are so many things bothering me these days, I don't even know where to start. How about placing the blame for the butchering murder of the census taker squarely at the feet of Michelle Bachman. Nancy Pelosi called it right....the Repubs are
    inciting the crazies to action. And no doubt in my mind...on purpose. Can you imagine anyone taking a gun to a rally where GWB was anywhere near? Can you imagine a Dem screaming at GWB in a press conference? I'm also tired of the media trying to be "fair", balancing "extremists on the left and right". Sorry, NO. The left is not extreme in any way like the right. We don't have Michelle Malkins, and Coultergeists, and Rushes, and Becks, and OReillys. Who is extreme on the left, really? Michael Moore? For making documentaries that they cannot argue on the facts? Keith Olberman because he catches Billo in lies and manipulations of facts? Extremists on the left is pure BS. Only the right could convince other right wingers to carry signs that say "keep the gov't out of my medicare." Makes you just want to weep with dispair sometimes. Accck. I've even tempered my enthusiasm for Obama, he's just not doing enough, playing too nice with whack jobs that will do everything they can to destroy him.
    Close Gitmo like you said, what's the problem? You're the president, do it. Stop don't ask don't tell. It's stupid. You said you would. Public option upsetting conservatives? Who gives a damn. I really really believe that the crazies are the minority. I want to stop giving them so much say about the rest of us. They're loud, dangerous, uneducated, ill informed and easily duped, and we keep allowing them to have so much say. I'm still glad there is not a Bush/Chaney gang of thugs running things, but I did expect more from Obama.
    Phew, sorry for the rant.
    ;-) But it's nice to see you all again. You always say what's in my head, Brian, but so much more succinctly than I can muster up.

  13. "They can take what they're presupposing and shove it."

    Minor correction. One usually can't take what one is presupposing and shove it, because one doesn't usually know what one is presupposing.

  14. because one doesn't usually know what one is presupposing.
    When one presupposes something, they know what they're presupposing when they presuppose it, no?

    Good to see you again as always, Oneblood. How's Harry?

  15. "When one presupposes something, they know what they're presupposing when they presuppose it, no?"

    I don't think so, but then again I've never seen a study done about debates when the participants are asked about what they presuppose.

    Descartes knew he was presupposing God, but did Augustine? When the Farrakhan thinks that Jews and "whites" are inferior, does he know he's presupposing that racism (as a form) is correct?

    I have to stay with my correction. Sometimes I think people know what they're presupposing and sometimes not...

    So, they can't shove it if they can't find it.

  16. Harry?

    Whatever do you mean? ;-)

    I'm sure he'll be his old ludicrously double-triple-quadruple standard bearing self sometime soon.

    He's got rejection issues to deal with right now though. Apparently Hitler Pikachu won't speak to him; and the Eastern Seaboard Sufi's just realized that not only is he not Muslim, but he only really cares about money. No more Dramamine at 6 bucks a tab for the Whirling Dervishes.

    Maybe Harry will repent and become a nice guy.

  17. Oh yeah, I get it. So Farrahkan knows what he's supposing, but not what he's presupposing.

  18. Dramamine for whirling dervishes...
    Too funny.

    How's the neosporin sales to the self-flagellator cilege-wearing Opus Dei Catholics going?

  19. "How's the neosporin sales to the self-flagellator cilege-wearing Opus Dei Catholics going?"

    From what Harry says, about the same as it is to the Shiites.

  20. Who turned out the lights? And why is there an echo in here (

  21. I guess people didn't like "The Crapture" as much as I thought that they would.

    Well, I still like it.

  22. St. Brian,

    I am now selling flowers to choir directors.

    I had heard that there was only one thing better than roses on your piano, and that was tulips on your organ.

    You want a piece of the action?

  23. I am now selling flowers to choir directors.
    Who are you de-flowering in order to get them?

    Not the choir boys, I hope. You remember what happened the last time you tried this. The public stoning...

    (There's a softball for you...)

  24. Nothing with the tulips?

    We're a team St. Brian! We're the Abbot and Costello of this blog...and nothing with the tulips?

    Woe is me I am undone, I have seen the light of the failure of my pun.

  25. Tulips or not tulips, that is the question...
    The question that I never aster.
    Alas, I lacked marigold so we could not wed.
    She married old sweet william instead
    I never could get past her.