Luke 19:27 Jesus Christ said to His disciples: "But those, mine enemies, which would not that I should reign over them, bring hither, and slay them before me. (KJV)
Ahh, dearest loving Jesus must have been having a bad day.
I am here to put forth a theory. It's a very unpopular theory, to be sure. But it needs to be said.
The Bible is psychotic. Absolutely flaming psychotic. That's my theory. And I can back it up.
Think about it, really think.
[sahy-koh-sis] Show IPA
noun, plural -ses [-seez] Show IPA.
a mental disorder characterized by symptoms, such as delusions or hallucinations, that indicate impaired contact with reality.
any severe form of mental disorder, as schizophrenia or paranoia.
[skit-suh-free-nee-uh, -freen-yuh] Origin
[skit-suh-free-nee-uh, -freen-yuh] Show IPA
Psychiatry. Also called dementia praecox. a severe mental disorder characterized by some, but not necessarily all, of the following features: emotional blunting, intellectual deterioration, social isolation, disorganized speech and behavior, delusions, and hallucinations.
a state characterized by the coexistence of contradictory or incompatible elements.
If the Bible were a person, holding *all* of the many beliefs found within its pathological pages, they'd be a raving psychotic, a complete lunatic, because the Bible is in two halves, one of which is diametrically opposed in tone and direction and even philosophy to the other half, *and also* let us not forget that the Bible contains *many* other individual instances of self-contradiction within its pages. Even the four gospels do not agree on many important points, so 'gospel' meaning 'truth' begs the question 'which truth?'
The Bible tells us that it is the Word of God Himself, so we Must Believe in All Of It At Once. Or we're bad and evil and will go to hell after we die. And so we have Gentle Jesus Meek and Mild, with His Father Yahweh in Heaven who is never, ever meek and mild, is absolutely always *incredibly* strict and authoritarian, but you have to believe that really, they're one thing, one being, one God. And if that isn't enough to finish the job of dissolving your mind, we even have a terrible Revenge Jesus in Revelations at the very end of the book. Just in case you weren't fucked up enough up to that point.
This is the very definition of (forced) schizophrenia. To firmly believe in contrary things at the same time, is mental illness. There is no doubt about it. It's just a fact. The Bible is 'committing schizophrenia' on its readers. On its victims.
The Bible causes schizophrenia. The more literally you take it, the more sick you become. It's really that simple. And just because it's group schizophrenia doesn't excuse it. Actually it makes it far more horrifying. In fact, when you really think about it (and you have to really think about it,) you come to realize that it is entirely possible, even likely, that the Bible is the root cause of much of the mental illness present in Western (and Islamic) society. It is the Rotten Tree from which all the diseased branches grew. It is the Official Alternative to Reality.
I can't think of a better training program to produce schizophrenia. There just isn't one. The Bible, over and over again, presents sets of things which self-contradict, and yet *demands* that the reader believe in every last word of *both* of the pair of things presented, perhaps even with other differing things thrown in that contradict those two things, demands you believe absolutely all of it, all together, the whole mishmash, *or else God will fuck you up forever* (because He loves you!)
It's not possible to believe in the bible literally and not be a psychotic, a schizophrenic basket case. It demands, on pain of damnation, that the reader hold contrary beliefs in their head at the same time, permanently. And not just contrary *beliefs,* but even contrary *moral convictions!*
Isn't coercive morality fun?
So go forth and do unto others as you would have them do unto you and love thy neighbor, while of course taking an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth along the way. Just remember to take the eye from them *lovingly.* Remember that God loves you more than anything, which is why He demands strict obedience or else He will torture and burn you forever.
So have fun, boys and girls! God loves you! (But it's a fearfully horrific kind of love, hope you don't mind...)
I want to end on a cheery note. So let me inform the gentle reader that, according to the Bible, practically all Christians are *absolutely* damned to hell anyhow. For how many Christians, what percent, believe in *all* of Leviticus? How many Christians would kill their son if he came home drunk and rebellious? Heck, how many Christians do at least some sort of work on the Sabbath? (Which incidentally, in the Bible, is on Saturday, so there's that too...) They think little of ignoring those parts; indeed they think little of ignoring whichever parts of the Bible they find just too offensive (or too nice!) for their bent and fractured belief system, hence, they're eternally damned by Biblical definition, period. The Bible says so. It's a Biblical Fact. So get used to it, Christians! God is going to love you all the way to hell. Take comfort in that, and remember to bring the ice.
(It was cheery to me)